Forget Your Goals

Let’s talk about follow through. We are days away from the mid-point of 2019. Can you even believe it? The first half of 2019 is now in the rearview mirror, which means there are six months of unchartered “road” in front of you.

This isn’t to check to see if you’ve reached your goals, missed the mark, failed miserably or have gone so far off track you’ve thrown in the towel altogether. So much of what happens with goals is when you aren’t checking off that “Achieved” box, then you find yourself down in the dumps and feeling utterly defeated. To further drive the dagger down in further and add salt to the wounds, you proceed to make yourself feel badly and use some not-so-choice words to talk to yourself that are very self defeating, and create these stories about what “failing” to achieve your goals means about you. If you remember last week’s post, it doesn’t mean anything, except for the meaning you give it.

For now, forget goals, to-do lists and checking off boxes, and consider something else: the follow through.

Do you quit when the going gets tough? Do you stop short of your goals because it didn’t go exactly the way you planned? Do you say forget it when you aren’t seeing the results you thought you should be seeing by now? What if following through despite the hardships was the answer, the way to the end result, even if it doesn’t look like you thought it would? What if you are giving up on the brink of the breakthrough? If you don’t know when it’s coming (be it the weight loss, the new job, your soulmate, insert goal here!), then how can you be certain you aren’t throwing away your chances of being and doing exactly what you are working towards?

I see it all the time — whether it’s health, professional, or relationship goals: people stop taking their vitamins, quit making food choices that best fuel their bodies, date the wrong person over and over again, and come up with 301 excuses for why they can’t exercise or make time for themselves, because they aren’t seeing the results they thought they should by now. They are selling themselves short by not following through, and perhaps, so are you. What if the timeline is irrelevant? What if all the work you are doing towards your goals is seemingly unseen because it’s happening below the surface, and you simply can’t see it yet. You are creating the foundation for your success and it may not always be apparent in the first weeks, months, or even years, but you are on your way.

I am not here to judge you, to call you out on something you’re doing/not doing, nor to make you feel badly about yourself — not at all!!! What I am here to do is help you to create a mindful awareness of how you operate, the words you speak to yourself, and the meanings you give to these words, and to help you create a new story, a new mode of being — that serves you, fulfills you and helps you to design a life you love. If any of what I have said here triggers you, causes an instant reaction in you, makes you stop and question: “Is she talking about ME???”, or makes you feel even a wee-bit defensive, then I strongly suggest you lean into those feelings and question what is coming up for you.

You may vehemently deny and hold steadfast to your convictions, but when you are on the defensive and/or feel as if I am singling you out, then there is an air of truth to what is being said. It is not an easy pill to swallow, and let me be honest with you here, I am not immune to this. I talk about it because I’ve been there, I’ve lived it firsthand and seen it through my clients experiences, and know these struggles well too, and I want to share with you how to work through it and empower you to overcome it.

Following through when you aren’t certain of the outcome, when it feels like all the “chips” are stacked against you, when it feels like you are carrying a 50-pound weighted vest through quicksand, and it seems futile to keep going, that’s when you need to dig deeper to find the courage to keep moving ahead, nourishing your goals, and keeping the faith in the yet to be seen. Just because you can’t see the finish line, doesn’t mean it isn’t right in front of you. The gift is in the follow through.

What can you do right now to push forward and move ahead? First, get clear on why you want what you want. Then, recommit — to yourself. You owe it to you and only you. You are not a quitter, but you are allowed to pivot and reassess. Stay the course, forge a new path, create your own journey.

I want to help you to follow through, but here’s the kicker, it’s not up to me. It is up to you. I only want to help those who are willing to take the action, to do the work, even when it feels tough. Is that you? I have two openings for personalized 1:1 coaching. Hit reply and let me know you are ready to design a life you love in the remaining months of 2019. You are meant for more and you are not meant to go it alone. It’s time to follow through and get excited about the new roads that lie ahead.

be well. love mel.