Today is a day to celebrate. Today is a day that makes my heart ache. The ebb and flow of my emotions swirls like a rip current.
I could panic and get caught up in the overwhelm of opposing emotions, but that would leave me stuck, treading dangerous waters that could exhaust me to the point where I feel like I’m drowning.
Ride the wave. Don’t panic.
Recognize. Allow. Investigate. Not identify. RAIN is a powerful mindfulness meditation technique and is useful at all times, but especially when caught in the tide of overwhelm. Recognize your emotions, allow them to be there and move through you, investigate these feelings and hold them without judgement, then choose to not identify with them. They can be there and you can be open to them without them pulling you under.
This works…when you practice it. It’s easy to get caught up in overwhelm and it happens, but when you become more mindful of your emotions, suddenly you’re not drowning.
I’m in a juxtaposition between grief and joy. Grief is a topic I’ve touched on before and one that is always there, but is definitely more encompassing on certain days. Today is one of those days. Today is my sister’s birthday.
Today is also a day of celebration, as my whole family is together to celebrate the wedding of my nephew tomorrow. Her absence is so present, as the family gathers without her. It’s a joyous time, but the grief permeates through. Everyone is together, but Stacy is not here. We gather without her, yet she is in our hearts at all times. In our togetherness, we honor her memory. I celebrate her today, but I’m grieving her loss. My heart strings are being stretched at both ends.
Through the grief, I welcome the joy. I celebrate my nephew and his bride to be. I have immense gratitude that this joyous event brings us together.
Today, on a day where I could easily be suffocated by the swirls of emotions, I’m honoring these feelings, allowing them to be there, recognizing them with an open mind, investigating them with kindness and curiosity, and a willingness to be with what is by not identifying. I can feel it and let it move through me without allowing it to pull me under.
I’m choosing to ride the wave, not fight the current.
XO,
Mel